Van Gaal has nothing to do with Fellaini move - Benitez |
- Van Gaal has nothing to do with Fellaini move - Benitez
- Turan not planning Atletico Madrid exit
- Footballs maddest ads: Futres manhood, CR7s dandruff and Maradona as a chair
| Van Gaal has nothing to do with Fellaini move - Benitez Posted: 06 Aug 2014 09:26 PM PDT Fellaini has been linked with a loan move to the Serie A outfit, who claimed a 1-0 pre-season friendly win over Barcelona on Wednesday. Asked why Javier Mascherano, who was also chased by Napoli, never made the move, Benitez said coaches played no part. It didnt depend on the coach but on the project, Benitez said on Wednesday. That will be the case with Fellaini too. Van Gaal has nothing to do with it. Benitez said he was still missing something in his squad as Napoli look to close the gap on Serie A giants Juventus and Roma. Asked if Fellaini was close, Benitez told Sport Mediaset: Is he? I dont see him. When I talk about revenue and wages, I am referring to the ability to construct a strong squad. Our squad is strong but clearly we are still missing something. We must continue to form a strong group to recover the lost ground from Juventus and Roma. This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now |
| Turan not planning Atletico Madrid exit Posted: 06 Aug 2014 04:19 AM PDT The winger was a key member of theAtletico side whobroke the domestic dominance of Real Madrid and Barcelona last season by claiming a first La Liga title since 1996 and also reached the final of theUEFA Champions League. Atleti's success has already seen Diego Costa and Filipe Luis join Chelsea, while several other stars have been been tipped to depart Vicente Calderon. Turan is the latest player to have been linked with a move away from the club,with Manchester United reportedly among his suitors. But the Turkey international is not planning on leavingthe Spanish capital. "I'm with the best club in Spain," Turan said at a news conference ahead of Atleti's friendly with Galatasaray later on Wednesday. "I'm part of this system." Meanwhile, coach Diego Simeone highlighted Turan as vital to Atletico in their quest for further honoursthis term. "Arda is vital for us, due to his technical ability and his work ethic," Simeone commented. "He has grown a lot. "He has natural talent and continues to be someone who makes a difference to the team." This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now |
| Footballs maddest ads: Futres manhood, CR7s dandruff and Maradona as a chair Posted: 06 Aug 2014 02:51 AM PDT 1) Back of the Futre Sorry to start here, and we'd understand if you didn't want to read on, but.. well, just watch the thing. If former West Ham winger Paulo Futre juggling a ball with his manhood isn't already scary enough, it's accompanied by genuinely terrifying music and a stare from the protagonist that almost definitely warrants him a place on a register. Randomness rating: 10ladies dancing. 2) Ronaldo's breast milk Brazil legend and recent FourFourTwo guest editor Ronaldo is an all-round good egg, and as a younger man The Phenomenon did a free ad promoting breastfeeding. "He drank a lot of milk today," gushes Ronnie lovingly, before placing the infant in his cot. As he closes the door, his offspring begins juggling a football. It won't happen again, mind: after fathering his fourth child Ronaldo had a vasectomy to – in his own words – "close the factory". Randomness rating: 8 rusks. 3) Adebayor conga What's not to like about a conga line of computerised Emmanuel Adebayors grooving round a pitch in the style of phone game Snake, controlled by massive overlord Emmanuel Adebayor using his boot as a computer controller? Nothing, that's what, and adidas' lo-fi, geeky-but-cool 'Tune Your Game' ad was a hit in Holland. Randomness rating: 126 Adebayors. 4) Messi Pepsi Lionel Messi is a likeable chap, but he's no Jim Carrey. Minus points to the Pepsi exec, then, who thought putting The Flea in a vaguely tribal African shirt and getting him to riff comedically with a troupe of meerkats would be a winner. To his chagrin, Leo is beaten in a kicking competition by one of the desert mongeese, who bounces a ball off a tree and a goat to topple cans of the refreshing carbonated liquid. Nonsense. Randomness rating: 3 meerkats. 5) China destroys Europe Any US Republican hawks looking for proof the Chinese are destruction-crazed Commie zealots bent on destroying civilisation should whack this advert on a PowerPoint presentation immediately. Promoting Now TV's Euro 2012 coverage, this disturbing animation features football as war, with bombs, Big Ben on fire, a bent Eiffel Tower, dribbling superheroes, defensive walls, gas masks and players turning into massive, mythical animals. We should probably nuke them now to be on the safe side, right, Dick Cheney? Randomness rating: 10 horsemen of the apocalypse. 6) Duck, dive, dodge... dandruff You know an advert isn't going to be great when Cristiano Ronaldo appears on screen with the caption "world-famous footballer". What you don't expect is for it to get worse, which this one does as CR7 ducks and dives his way past balls of dandruff on a pinball table. We suspect the Real Madrid superstar rather enjoyed it, mind – just check out that closing pout. Randomness rating: Acouple ofMatrix jackets. 7) Zidane's bottle-bottoms Footballers have now comedy-juggled their way around virtually every conceivable commercial outlet in the name of making hulking wads of money, and things reached their illogical conclusion in this French Grand Optical ad, which sees Zinedine Zidane walloping a stunned teen's basketball around an optician's as he road-tests his new specs. However, we don't get to see him collect his snappy little case, microfibre cleaning cloth and set of mini-adjustment screwdrivers, which is a shame. Randomness rating: 4 eyes. 8) Shinji vs the Samurai Our heroes have faced all kinds of random football adversaries in ads over the years, but Shinji Kagawa gets it easy in a Kirin beer commercial. True, aftertaking a much-needed sip of silly-sauce following a long day of bench-warming, he is magically transported to face a Samurai squadron; however, the elite warriors are clearly encumbered by their bulky armour, and the Manchester United man simply dribbles past them before lashing the ball past a helpless, heavy helmet-laden keeper. For the bankable Kagawa, this was a fairly straightforward "plot" compared to some ads he's graced. In a Softbank mobile phone commercial, he crosses a ball for the company's doggy mascot to score, while talking to a manatee. Deeply confusing. Randomness rating: 7 Samurai and a manatee in a pear tree. 9) Cha Du-Ri does the dusting A housewife sits, melancholy and exhausted, at a kitchen table. How is she going to get through another day of chores? Worry not: former Celtic utility man Cha Du-Ri bursts terrifyingly out of a cupboard, wearing an extraordinary green spandex suit, to hoover, wash up, dust and mime playing a mop-guitar with enviable gusto. His secret? Liver tablets – a popular pep remedy across East Asia. Well, obviously. Randomness rating: 9 detoxified glands. 10) Maradona the chair In scenes straight from The Fast Show, Diego Maradona appears as an irritating talking chair, heckling his match-watching owners with chants of "Argentina!" and generally making their life a misery. And, to prove you can sell anything online, they respond by selling the Diego-seat on South American eBay-style listing website bomnegocio.com. Hmm, maybe FFT can flog that Boubacar Barry-themed chaise longue… Randomness rating: 10 Shiltons. This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now |
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