Friday, 21 March 2014

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Football news, match reports and fixtures | theguardian.com

Europa League clockwatch – live!

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 02:36 PM PDT

MBM report: Places in the last eight of the Europa League are up for grabs. Follow all the action with Scott Murray NOW

Scott Murray

Benfica 2-2 Tottenham, 5-3 agg

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 01:09 PM PDT

At least Tottenham Hotspur could hold their heads up high and look their opponents in the eye when Damir Skomina blew his final whistle. Belatedly they had made the most one-sided of contests into something approaching a fight.

A frantic finale was not on the cards when Benfica went 1-0 up on the night and 4-1 up on aggregate. At that point, it looked like it was going to be another demoralising evening for Tottenham and another black mark against Tim Sherwood. Instead, after two late Nacer Chadli goals, they were left to reflect on what might have been. If only they had played with such vigour and heart before the final 12 minutes of this tie, a place in the last eight might have been theirs. Yet chances went begging, there were heroics from Jan Oblak in the Benfica goal and Tottenham even suffered the cruel blow of conceding a late penalty to lose 5-3 on aggregate.

What little hope Tottenham had of going through was diminished by the sheer number of players who were missing. Overcoming a 3-1 deficit from last week's first leg would have been daunting enough with a full-strength team, but doing it with what bordered on a reserve side required one of the greatest European performances in Tottenham's history. Injuries and suspensions meant that they were without 11 first-teamers.

The sight of Aaron Lennon wearing the captain's armband summed up the threadbare nature of Sherwood's squad. On an evening when Tottenham needed leadership and resilience, they had four teenagers on their bench, none of whom had a single minute of first-team action between them. Tottenham could have no illusions about the size of the task facing them and they have made an unfortunate habit of crumbling badly at the first sign of trouble this season.

Nonetheless Tottenham did not seem overawed by the occasion in the early stages, passing the ball with a crisp neatness in midfield and attempting to bring their wingers, Andros Townsend and Lennon, into play at every opportunity.

What was letting Tottenham down, though, was a lack of conviction when they attacked, their final pass or cross wasteful on too many occasions. Just as problematic was Roberto Soldado's glaring lack of confidence. His work-rate could not be faulted and he harried Luisão into an early yellow card.

Yet it soon became obvious why Soldado came into this match having scored one goal in 2014. The Spain striker had time and space when Gylfi Sigurdsson's corner fell to him at the far post, yet his snatched finish was abysmal, the ball bouncing over the bar. A striker in form would have scored and Soldado later saw another effort deflected over. Tottenham could not afford to pass up such presentable chances.

There were understandable nerves about how Tottenham's makeshift defence would cope against Benfica's attack. A central defence of Sandro and Zeki Fryers did not scream solidity, the only moment of worry in the opening stages came when Luisão, who twice capitalised on slack marking to score goals in the first leg, headed over.

Yet there was always a feeling that Benfica's superiority, combined with Tottenham's fragility, would tell sooner rather than later. The Portuguese are a ruthless side and when Salvio beat Lennon with an outstanding piece of trickery on the right, his stabbed cross was powerfully headed past Brad Friedel by Ezequiel Garay. Now Tottenham needed three goals just to take the game to extra-time.

Garay's header seemingly ended the tie as a contest, not that there ever had been much tension inside this vast stadium. Even Sherwood had decided this was not a night for flying gilets in the dugout. The Tottenham manager, who was so irritated by the bizarre antics of Jorge Jesus last week, stayed away from his Benfica rival, perhaps to avoid another clash, and decided to sit behind Daniel Levy in the director's box instead. For future reference, it is probably a good idea for a Spurs manager to keep his chairman where he can see him.

The match assumed the feel of an exhibition after half-time. Benfica could afford to relax and roll out the party tricks, while Tottenham began to look as if they would rather be back in London. There was one burst from Townsend, the winger dashing inside, past Maxi Pereira and flashing a low drive inches wide from 18 yards, but Benfica were rarely threatened. Tottenham did not have enough quality to give a side that is five points clear at the top of the Portuguese lead a stern examination.

Yet just when the match appeared to be dead, Spurs woke up. First Chadli drove home from outside the area, before the Belgian reacted sharply to a loose ball and slashed high into the net from six yards out.

Tottenham only needed one goal to force extra-time and soon Lennon was running clear, only for his cutback to fall to a red shirt. Tottenham also appealed for a penalty when Harry Kane fell under Luisão's challenge and then Oblak had to push Sigurdsson's header away.

A Tottenham goal seemed to be coming. But then Benfica broke, won a penalty and Lima finally finished Spurs off.

Jacob Steinberg

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As Fernando Torres turns 30 is it time he returned to Atlético Madrid? | Tom Bryant

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 01:09 PM PDT

The £50 million man has struggled with successive managers, but could Diego Simeone get him back on track in Madrid

In the week of Fernando Torres's birthday, it can't have been much of a present to see Didier Drogba back at Chelsea. The Ivorian's visit with his current club Galatasaray brought with it tributes from José Mourinho, hugs from his former teammates and misty-eyed pre-match reminiscences. All around Stamford Bridge banners still hang that proclaim Drogba as one of the greatest to wear Chelsea blue, and few fans would have begrudged the old warhorse one last goal at the ground. Torres must know that he will never be taken to heart in the same way.

He has always seemed to exist in Drogba's giant shadow. Though he was signed for £50m in January 2011, the sort of fee that should have ensured he was the first-choice striker, he made two less starts than Drogba during the remainder of the season, and the same number as Nicolas Anelka. His inability to cement the lone centre forward spot Chelsea subsequently favoured always seemed to be coloured by the fact that, while Drogba was at the club, nobody else would be top dog – no matter what they cost.

Whatever Torres did, he always faded into Drogba's background. During Chelsea's successful 2012 Champions League campaign, he was outdone by the Ivorian in the most dramatic of ways. In the semi-final against Barcelona, it was Torres who sprinted half the length of the Camp Nou pitch to score the goal that made absolutely sure that Chelsea went into the final (and send Gary Neville on a viral journey around the internet). But Drogba, of course, scored the penalty that won the competition outright – and did so with his last kick for the club: an impossibly iconic slice of history that will forever dwarf Torres's contribution. It hardly helped, meanwhile, that Torres was not even allowed to take one of those spot-kicks.

But if an inferiority complex was the problem, it wasn't one that was solved after Drogba's departure. Torres has continued to frustrate and it is hard to fathom precisely why. If you ignore the price tag, his signing appeared to be an unquestionable piece of business. He was keen to leave Liverpool, a club he said was "in chaos" at the time. He was a proven goalscorer, one who scored a hat-trick within a month-and-a-half of his Liverpool debut in 2007 and another two – in successive matches – several months later. He scored 33 goals that season, 17 the next, and 22 in his final full season at the club – 65 goals in his 102-match, three-and-a-half season Liverpool career. Even for a club that lived to regret recruiting strikers such as Chris Sutton, Pierluigi Casiraghi, Mateja Kezman, Adrian Mutu and Andriy Shevchenko, Chelsea must not have had to think very long about signing him. But, though he has been in London for almost exactly the same amount of time that he was at Liverpool – three seasons and 103 matches, he has scored just 19 goals.

Torres has played under five managers at Chelsea, four of them Champions League winners, and the other a Europa League winner. But none of Carlo Ancelotti, André Villas-Boas, Roberto Di Matteo, Rafael Benítez or Mourinho could get Torres to play with anything like consistency. There were moments, brief reminders of a former life before another inevitable slump. After missing an open goal against Manchester United in 2011, there was the masterful swivelled shot against Swansea in the following match. A brace followed soon after in the 5-0 Champions League demolition of Genk in October. Villas-Boas proclaimed the striker's confidence was back and so he did not score again until March. When Benítez arrived at the club in November 2012, a temporary recruitment partly to rediscover the manager-striker relationship that once got the best out of Torres at Liverpool, he sparkled with seven goals in six matches in December. He then scored just three in the next three months – against Brentford, Boro and Steaua Bucharest. He did not score again in the league until May.

If coaches with that kind of pedigree – excusing, perhaps Di Matteo – could not get him to rediscover his form, then nobody can: the problem lies with the striker, not the staff around him. There are those that have pointed to the serious knee injury he suffered at Liverpool in 2010, claiming it robbed him of the pace that once served him so well. But Torres is hardly a slouch now, and he has had nearly four years to work a way around his problem.

There are arguments too that Chelsea do not suit his style of play. At Liverpool, the club would win the ball in their own half before Steven Gerrard would pass into space behind the opposition defence. Torres's speed would do the rest. But in Frank Lampard, Juan Mata, Oscar and Eden Hazard, Torres has hardly been short of world class playmakers to feed him. And so his confidence is blamed instead – and that's a far tougher thing to quantify or resolve. If his inability to dislodge Drogba from Chelsea's starting lineup started his spiral of doubt, then the fact that his current manager seems to prefer the other ageing, iconic African striker of this generation – Samuel Eto'o – up front cannot help. The simple matter for Chelsea, though, is that they cannot afford to be sympathetic for much longer. For a club that sees itself as one of the best in the world, there comes a time for ruthlessness: and in Torres's case that time has long been up.

On the day that Torres turns 30, he has confessed an admiration for the Atlético Madrid manager Diego Simeone – currently in charge of the striker's first club and the one he has always held dearest. If Chelsea are wondering what to get Torres for his birthday, then granting him a simple transfer might spare them too much wrapping.


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Benfica 2-2 Tottenham – as it happened | Simon Burnton

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 01:09 PM PDT

Minute-by-minute report: Benfica scored first to put the tie beyond Spurs – but, as it turned out, only just

Simon Burnton

280. Tim Sherwood, Tottenham

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 12:00 PM PDT

Click to enlarge, and debate the strip below the line. Keith Hackett's verdict appears in Sunday's Observer and here from Monday.

Competition: win an official club shirt of your choice

For a chance to win a club shirt of your choice from the range at Kitbag.com send us your questions for You are the Ref to you.are.the.ref@observer.co.uk. The best scenario used in the new YATR strip each Sunday wins a shirt to the value of £50 from Kitbag. Terms & conditions apply.

For more on the fifty year history of You Are The Ref, click here.


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Barcelona's Andrés Iniesta looks ahead to El Clásico – video

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 10:56 AM PDT

Barcelona's Andrés Iniesta says his team will have to play a 'perfect game' if they want to defeat Real Madrid in El Clásico on Sunday

The Human League may jump back into the top 10 … thanks to Aberdeen FC

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 09:58 AM PDT

Facebook campaign by football fans could give the synth-pop band its first top-10 appearance since 1995

The Human League look set to have a top 10 single in the UK thanks to some unlikely help from Scottish football.

Don't You Want Me may return to the top 10, more than 30 years since it became a hit for the synth-pop group. The track is a favourite among Aberdeen FC fans, and supporters started a social media campaign to boost its sales following the club's victory in the Scottish League Cup on 16 March.

Sadly for supporters, although maybe not for music itself, the version charting will merely be the original, rather than a re-recorded version that incorporates the popular fan chant "Peter Pawlett, baby". The subject of the song remains a waitress working at a cocktail bar, rather than the talismanic midfielder who has scored six goals in his 93 appearances for the club.

Richard Albiston, who founded the Facebook campaign, seemed happy to have any version making the charts: "The page was set up as a bit of fun. I never expected it to take off as much as it has."

Don't You Want Me is the UK's 24th biggest-selling single of all time. It is currently placed at No 12, but has been rising sharply. If it makes the top 10, it will be the band's first appearance there since Tell Me When peaked at No 6 in January 1995. It is currently climbing the iTunes top 10 singles chart.


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Van Persie leaves United sweating

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 09:56 AM PDT

• Dutchman carried off after scoring hat-trick
• Crucial derby match awaits on next Tuesday

Manchester United are waiting anxiously to discover how seriously their striker Robin van Persie was injured in the 3-0 Champions League victory over Olympiakos at Old Trafford on Wednesday.

David Moyes, the manager, is expected to know by Friday whether the Dutch centre-forward will miss any games. It was Van Persie's hat-trick that ensured the Greek champions' 2-0 lead from the last-16 first leg in Athens was overturned.

The Dutchman suffered the problem when he was hit from behind in the last minute by the centre-back, Kostas Manolas, and collapsed on the turf clutching the back of his left knee.

While Van Persie had to be taken off on a stretcher Moyes later downplayed the problem, stating the forward had taken a knee in the back of his leg.

Given Van Persie's three goals took him to 14 in 23 United outings to make him the club's top scorer during the current campaign, Moyes will not want to lose his services.

On Saturday United travel to West Ham United, hoping to build on the win over Olympiakos that put the club in Friday's draw for the Champions League quarter-finals. They then host Manchester City in the 167th derby on Tuesday evening.

With Moyes believing that Van Persie was not too seriously hurt the manager will hope to have him return for the meeting with Manuel Pellegrini's side at the latest.

Van Persie's treble was his third for the club and the first by a United player in the Champions League in five years, following Michael Owen's hat-trick against Wolfsburg in 2009.

After a virtually injury-free season last year, Van Persie has again been cursed by setbacks this season as he was for most of his Arsenal career.

On United's summer tour Van Persie suffered a muscle injury in Japan, issues with his toes and groin once the season started, and a problem in mid-December that put him on the sidelines for six weeks.

Jamie Jackson

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André Villas-Boas presented as new Zenit St Petersburg manager – video

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 09:56 AM PDT

Former Spurs boss André Villas-Boas is officially unveiled as Zenit St Petersburg new manager

Fifa executives questioned about Russia and Qatar World Cup decisions

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 09:28 AM PDT

• Fifa investigator looks into how 2018 and 2022 venues chosen
• Presidential hopeful Jérôme Champagne supports investigation

Fifa's chief investigator made a surprise swoop on members of the executive who took part in the controversial bids for the 2018 and 2022 World Cup, it has emerged.

The members were unaware that US attorney Michael Garcia would be in Zurich waiting to interview them before the executive committee meeting this week.

It is understood Garcia has completed the interviews – only 12 of the 22 members who took part in the vote in December 2010, plus Fifa's president, Sepp Blatter, are still in office.

Garcia, the head of the investigatory chamber of the Fifa ethics committee, met some members including Uefa president Michel Platini on Wednesday and other members on Thursday.

Meanwhile, Jérôme Champagne, who announced earlier this year that he wants to stand for the Fifa presidency next year, said Garcia's investigation held the key to the reputation of the World Cup.

Champagne said: "The process must go to the end. The World Cup must be unimpeachable, it must be untainted and it must be incorruptible.

"My position is the process led by Mr Michael Garcia must be completed and we should know what he has learned – we are talking about political influence, about collusion, about votes."

Garcia's interviews are not thought to be connected with a report this week that the FBI is investigating payments from a company owned by a Qatari, Mohamed Bin Hammam, to fellow former Fifa member Jack Warner and his family. Both men left Fifa in disgrace following a 2011 corruption scandal.

Garcia has already interviewed officials who worked on a number of the bid teams, including England's unsuccessful 2018 campaign. It is unclear whether he has contacted the countries that won the bids – Russia and Qatar – yet.

A statement from Garcia's office said: "As with any investigation, the ethics committee does not comment on ongoing proceedings."


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Barcelona forward Pedro says 'it's all up for grabs' in el clásico

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 09:06 AM PDT

• 'The team is focused, concentrated and united'
• Real and Barça both chasing rare treble

The Barcelona forward Pedro has declared "everything is up for grabs" before el clásico on Sunday.

Both Real Madrid and Barcelona are chasing the treble of Champions League, Spanish League and Copa del Rey and Pedro said: "The team is focused, concentrated and united. In the important games the team has performed very well and at a very high level.

"We are coming into the game on great form and practically everything is up for grabs there. We want to put on a good performance and get the three points so we can stay alive in all three competitions.

"Maybe they are a bit more the favourites because they are playing at home and are the leaders but we know that in these games there is never a clear favourite as anything can happen."

Andrés Iniesta echoed his team-mate's opinion, telling the club's website: "We'll have to put in almost a perfect game – that's what beating Madrid demands and we are capable of doing it.

"We can't settle for anything other than a win: that has to be our mentality from now to Sunday, with no doubts at all."

Barcelona are the only Spanish team to do the treble, which they achieved in 2008-09. The game pitches Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi against each other and Real, on 70 points with 10 games left, are in much the better shape having put together an unbeaten run of 31 matches in all competitions since they lost 2-1 at Barça in La Liga at the end of October.

Barça, four points behind Real in third and a point adrift of Atlético Madrid in second, slipped to recent defeats at Real Valladolid and Real Sociedad and badly need a win to reignite their campaign.

The Real forward Gareth Bale described it as "the crunch time in the season, when things are won and lost so we need to keep our performances up and keep winning games.

"We will prepare the right way and hopefully get the right result. We know they are close rivals but we want to win the three points on offer."

Sunday's game is also a warm-up for the Copa del Rey final between Real and Barça in Valencia on 16 April and they could be drawn to play each other in the last eight of the Champions League on Friday.


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Football Weekly Extra: Manchester United avoid Greek tragedy

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 09:03 AM PDT

On today's Football Weekly Extra, your globetrotting pod squad – AC Jimbo, James Horncastle, Barry Glendenning and Rafa Honigstein – marvel at Manchester United's miraculous comeback in the Champions League, possibly the least convincing 3-0 win ever. Or at least for some time.

After weighing up the chances of Moyes' Boys progressing further in the competition, we look forward to the weekend in the Premier League, not least Arsenal's clash with Chelsea and Liverpool's trip to Cardiff.

Plus, we hear from Sid Lowe ahead of the latest Clásico, speculate on Clarence Seedorf's future at Milan, and discuss the action at the bottom of the Bundesliga.

Finally, there's a chance for you to listen to a few snippets from our live show in Dublin. Thanks to all 600 of you who crammed in – especially those of you brave enough to go on camera for this here video.

James is off again with some extremely burly men all next week, so we're welcoming back Max Rushden to the fold. Be nice to him. Please.

James Richardson
Ben Green
Barry Glendenning
Raphael Honigstein
Sid Lowe

West Ham's Sam Allardyce on Manchester United's disappointing season – video

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 09:02 AM PDT

West Ham manager Sam Allardyce says he is not surprised David Moyes has had a disappointing season as Manchester United manager

George Boyd to serve three-match spitting ban after FA rejects appeal

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 08:43 AM PDT

• Hull City forward clashed with Manchester City's Joe Hart
• Boyd misses West Brom, West Ham and Stoke games

The Hull forward George Boyd will serve a three-match suspension after the Football Association rejected his appeal against a charge of spitting at Manchester City's Joe Hart.

The incident with the England goalkeeper, which was not seen by the match officials but showed up on television replays, occurred in the second half of Saturday's match at the KC Stadium, which the visitors won 2-0.

Boyd had denied a misconduct charge brought by the FA on Tuesday and mounted an appeal, but that was thrown out at an independent regulatory commission hearing on Thursday.

An FA statement confirmed: "Hull City's George Boyd will serve a three-match suspension with immediate effect after an FA charge for spitting was found proven."

The suspension rules Boyd out of Hull's Premier League games against West Brom, West Ham and Stoke. Television images appeared to show the Scotland international spit in the direction of Hart during the 68th-minute flashpoint, which came with Hull trailing 1-0 to a City side who had earlier been reduced to 10 men after the dismissal of Vincent Kompany.

Boyd, a second-half substitute, went down rather too eagerly under Hart's challenge in the area but his appeals for a penalty were waved away by the referee Lee Mason. Hart responded furiously and pushed his head against Boyd as the two exchanged insults.


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The Fiver | David de Gea and his 24 arms

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 08:21 AM PDT

Click here to have the Fiver sent to your inbox every weekday at 5pm, or if your usual copy has stopped arriving

GOVINDA DAVE DE GEA, GOPALA DAVE DE GEA, RADHA RAMANA HARI, GOVINDA DAVE DE GEA

A week is a long time in politics, but a day is even longer in the world of football. Twenty four hours ago, David Moyes was a dead man walking, his team in grave danger of being knocked out of Big Cup by the worst team they could have faced in the competition. But instead Olympiakos were knocked out of Big Cup by the worst team they could have faced in the competition, and everything changed. The Manchester United boss, who had started the match aged 73, suddenly morphed back into his pre-season age of 50. His slumped, rounded shoulders regained their definition. The furrows in his brow evaporated, the crow's feet flew away. His arthritic hip developed a dip, his shuffling pensioner's stride turned into a glide. He heelclicked down the touchline and away, a smile playing on his lips for the first time since the 61st minute of the all-Merseyside FA Cup semi-final back in 2012. Yes, days are long in football, and that's because they have a habit of playing havoc with the space-time continuum.

Moyes's renewed vigour was a result of having last night chanced upon his own personal Mark Robins. Robins, of course, famously won an FA Cup tie for plain old Alex Ferguson back in 1990, which legend has it saved his manager's job and changed the course of All History, including prime ministers and geopolitics and fashion and the hit parade and that. Casual observers of the action may assume that Moyesey's Personal Robins was the appropriately named Robin van Persie, scorer of the three goals that put Olympiakos out. But in fact the identity of the MPR is David de Gea, who many had previously thought to be a 23-year-old Spanish goalkeeper, but in fact is an ageless Hindu love god whose many arms and legs represent his divine omnipresence, and are not half handy for stopping shots either, as evidenced in his 974 saves last night, which ensured a still shaky United were able to scrape through despite fielding a rickety defence built around the monumentally confused Phil Jones and the monumentally confused Rio Ferdinand.

Few would begrudge Moyes unearthing, and benefitting from the antics of, the MPR, especially in the wake of all the puerile abuse he's had to field recently for having the brazen audacity to be not quite as good at football management as his predecessor. But sadly mere mortals have a habit of losing the run of themselves very quickly the minute they enjoy a little success, and having experienced his first famous victory as United manager, Moyes was quickly setting himself up for a fall with another first, his virgin dalliance with hubris. "I suppose we will be underdogs in the draw," he began realistically, before losing the run of himself thus, "but I genuinely believe this club is capable of winning it! If we show our capabilities, which we haven't done too often, we can be a match for any team!" Oh Moyesey! Please be careful! United might still have a finger in the Big Cup pie, but only because your keeper has 24 arms!

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE TONIGHT

Join Scott Murray from 5pm for a big old Big Vase clockwatch, while Simon Burnton will be on hand with MBM coverage of Benfica 2-1 Tottenham (agg: 5-2), from 6pm.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"My kids and I have a similar taste in music, thank heavens. We can agree on Coldplay at least" – oh Pep, how could you?

FIVER LETTERS

"I've come to terms with play being stoppped for injuries to be treated but draw the line at stopping play for cramp. Essentially it's 'We'll all stop because you're not fit enough and you haven't drunk enough'. I favour cracking on" – Paul Ruffley.

"If Flirting's Louis van Gaal wants to 'coach a top team in the Premier League' (yesterday's Bits and Bobs), why is he making eyes at Tottenham?" – David Gallagher.

"I was catching up on podcasts which were speculating about the name of David Beckham's Florida franchise club. How about Miami Spice?" – Rob Mildren.

"Re: Fiver letters passim. In support of the Fiver (you don't often see that written down), if I wrote 'Long Term Vision' on a Post-It sticky note and then put that note on a blank piece of paper, wouldn't I have a blank piece of paper marked Long Term Vision?" – Paul Dixon (and one other).

• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you've nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. Today's winner of our prizeless letter o' the day is: Paul Ruffley.

JOIN GUARDIAN SOULMATES

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BITS AND BOBS

Tactics Tim has got the Fiver confused, not least because this story was accompanied by the Big Website headline: 'Sherwood has no respect for Jesus'. "I've got respect for the football club and I've got respect for [Jorge Jesus's] players," tub-thumped the Spurs fashionista. "The club is a huge club and we've had a lot of emails from Benfica fans apologising for their manager's behaviour. At the end of the day, I will shake his hand, because they are a giant of a club."

After taking over as Zenit St Petersburg manager, sulky teenager André Villas-Boas has turned to history for inspiration. "Peter the Great built this city. I want to build a football team at Zenit which is as great as the city's founder," he parped.

Borussia Dortmund players have got the funk on with the lack of support they're getting from fans. "I really do not like this. Every time we lost possession you could hear moans in the crowd," whinged Kevin Grosskreutz after Dortmund snuck past Zenit to reach the last eight of Big Cup. "We do not need moans, we need support."

Hull City's George Boyd has been hit with a three-game ban for wearing a hairba … sorry, for forcibly thrusting phlegm in Joe Hart's general direction.

Cold.

And Ghana have added Mariana Kovacevic, the controversial healer whose methods include treating knack with horse placenta, to their World Cup medical staff in a bid to call a halt their players going lame.

STILL WANT MORE?

Featuring Everton's 1984 FA Cup squad as The Beatles, Terry Venables giving it the full Sinatra and, erm, a cardboard cut-out of Rod Stewart: a brief pictoral history of footballers murdering songs.

Daniel Taylor pays tribute to the epic, anachronistic run of Arsène Wenger and his impending Arsenal 1,000-game landmark.

Amy Lawrence, meanwhile, reviews Wenger's best and worst Arsenal signings. You're skipping to the worst ones, aren't you?

Amid the crisis in Crimea, what next for Ukrainian football, muses Jonathan Wilson.

Graham Taylor's Escape to Victory and the best/luckiest goal of the season so far feature in this week's Classic YouTube.

What happened when Football Weekly went live in Dublin.

Oh, and if it's your thing, you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.

SIGN UP TO THE FIVER (AND O FIVERÃO)

Want your very own copy of our free tea-timely(ish) email sent direct to your inbox? Has your regular copy stopped arriving? Click here to sign up. And you can also now receive our weekly World Cup email, O Fiverão every Thursday; this is the latest edition, and you can sign up for it here.

HOW MANY, BILL?

Scott Murray

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Read archive match reports of Wenger's trophy wins as he nears 1,000th game in charge

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 08:05 AM PDT

With seven major trophies in nine years, Arsenal fans once sang about living in a 'Wenger Wonderland' (you can read old match reports of those glory days by clicking on the images below)

Premier League: 1997-98

Arsène Wenger wins the Premier League. Asked about the "Arsène Who?" comments once directed at him, he replies: "Names come and go but people remember those who bring results. Judge me by my work"

FA Cup: 1997-98

Goals from Overmars and Anelka win Arsenal the FA Cup. With the league title already won, players and fans celebrate the club's first double since 1971

FA Cup: 2001-02

Well taken goals by Ray Parlour and Freddie Ljungberg secure part one of a domestic double as Arsenal lift the FA Cup following a largely disappointing final against Chelsea in Cardiff

Premier league: 2001-02

Arsenal clinch their second double in less than six years thanks to a memorable 1-0 win at Old Trafford. After the match, a jubilant Arsène Wenger hinted that a "shift of power" was taking place between former champions (Manchester United) and Arsenal

FA Cup: 2002-03

Having 'surrendered' their Premier League crown to Manchester United thanks to a late season collapse in form, Arsenal still had to lift themselves for the FA Cup final. Pires scored the only goal as the north London side edged out underdogs Southampton in a lacklustre contest

Premier league: 2003-04

A point proves enough for Arsenal as they win the Premiership title at the home of their arch-rivals, Tottenham. Arsène Wenger's men made it an invincible season by not losing a single league game

FA Cup: 2004-05

Manchester United's domination of the match came to nothing as Patrick Vieira slammed in the winning spot-kick in the first FA Cup final to be decided by a penalty shootout. Major silverware has eluded Arsène Wenger since

Jason Rodrigues

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Football Weekly: live in Dublin – video

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 08:00 AM PDT

Football Weekly podcast presenter James Richardson flew to Dublin, with Barry Glendenning, Raphael Honigstein and James Horncastle in tow (albeit on an earlier flight)

James Richardson
Barry Glendenning
Raphael Honigstein

Everton's Roberto Martínez dismisses Seamus Coleman transfer speculation – video

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 07:02 AM PDT

Everton manager Roberto Martínez says Seamus Coleman is a very important player to the club, despite speculation that the full-back may be moving in the summer

Crystal Palace's Tony Pulis looks ahead to Newcastle game – video

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 06:22 AM PDT

Crystal Palace's manager Tony Pulis explains why his side face a stern test against Newcastle in the Premier League on Saturday

Ryan Giggs: why has he been shunned so often by David Moyes? | Jamie Jackson

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 06:18 AM PDT

It's hard to fathom why Manchester United's manager has ignored his influential veteran when he has needed results, fast

The display Ryan Giggs turned in against Olympiakos proved the old truism about the finest players having more time than the rest. How else to explain a 40-year-old running the show for Manchester United on an evening when the team's season – and, possibly, – David Moyes's job was on the line?

To be instrumental in both of Robin van Persie's goals before the break, the second on the stroke of half-time to level the Champions League last-16 tie 2-2, illustrated the class of Giggs and had his inquisitors lining up to ask Moyes the burning question: why had the Welshman been allowed only 12 starts, the last of which came on 28 January, in a 2-0 win over Cardiff City?

After Robin van Persie's 51st-minute hat-trick strike took United into Friday's quarter final draw to give the manager the best night of his stuttering United career, this was put to the Scot.

Moyes's reply was: "We have to look to see what we do, Ryan Giggs can't go on for ever, we know that. We have to be looking to find the new Ryan Giggs and the new players. I thought that he is 40 years old and I needed to look to the future, to give people opportunities to play."

A jam-tomorrow selection policy is no good if by mid-March it has the defending champions 18 points off the leaders, Chelsea, and 12 from qualifying for next season's Champions League. When trying to replace Sir Alex Ferguson, the domestic game's most successful manager, an approach of choosing the best players now to win each and every game seems wiser.

Moyes's admission sounds as if he is using his first campaign as a glorified trial for some far-off point in the future where tomorrow never comes. In football's 24-hour news-cycle all that matters is the previous, the latest, and the next result.

For Moyes to understand how best to use Giggs a hint may have been gained by studying Ferguson's deployment of the midfielder as the years began advancing. To take the 12-13 season, Ferguson's last, Giggs was named in the XI for United's biggest match, the last-16 return against Real Madrid at Old Trafford, with the tie poised at 1-1.

To trust Giggs when the club – and manager – need him most appears a strategy Moyes adopted by default for the Olympiakos outing: there are only so many times his £27m headline summer buy, Marouane Fellaini, could be witnessed stumbling through matches before the Belgian had to be dropped for a night that might have ended the 50-year-old's tenure.

The next poser is when will Moyes next include Giggs in the lineup. The smart money says West Ham United on Saturday will come too soon for a player now in a fifth decade, with Tuesday evening's derby against Manchester City at Old Trafford the more likely.

Yet there would be no surprise, given Moyes's constant tinkering and the season-long policy regarding Giggs, if he was stood down for United's 167th squabble with their neighbours.

While there was apparently no row between Giggs and Moyes after Liverpool's 3-0 humiliation of United on Sunday, all is not rosy between the pair. In Wednesday evening's second half there was a heated exchange about where Giggs should have been in the previous moment's passage of play. The latter had no compunction spelling his point out to the manager more than once. Giggs is also said to have taken a more backward step regarding the second part of his player-coach role. With Moyes having an argument with Patrice Evra during the first half, again about where the Frenchman wanted to position himself - for a Wayne Rooney free-kick - the sense that senior players continue to question the new manager appears doubtful to end soon.

After the game Giggs, who completed the full 90 minutes, said: "We've had good results and then not followed them up so we won't get carried away – we just need to keep producing performances like tonight. There was pressure on us, especially after Sunday [the 3-0 defeat to Liverpool]. That was a disappointing performance and result. We owed the fans because they've been unbelievable."

There was no mention of Moyes also deserving a performance. A coincidence, a slip of the memory? Maybe. There are at least 11 matches left this term, nine of the beleaguered title defence and a minimum further two in the Champions League. Perhaps if Giggs is used more he will remember to mention the manager in future dispatches.

The display against the Greek champions certainly gave Moyes every reason to do so. "Sometimes you might be thinking, he'll need to come off after 60 minutes but he's a freak he really is," was his post-match verdict on the Salford-raised phenomenon. "He's something different."

Giggs could yet prove the telling factor in a change of United's fortunes before the season's end. And, those of Moyes.

Jamie Jackson

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Villas-Boas targeting Russian title with Zenit

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 05:48 AM PDT

• 'If we win all nine matches we will be champions'
• Former Spurs coach succeeds Luciano Spalletti

André Villas-Boas has set his sights on adding the Russian championship to his cv after taking charge of Zenit St Petersburg on a two-year contract. The former Chelsea and Tottenham manager formally replaced the long-serving Luciano Spalletti after the club were eliminated from the Champions League by Borussia Dortmund.

Only nine games of the Russian Premier League season remain and Zenit trail the leaders Lokomotiv Moscow by three points. The clubs meet in the capital in May, however, and Villas-Boas believes a maximum return of 27 points will deliver Zenit their fifth Russian championship.

The 36-year-old Portuguese said: "The first step is to win the Russian league. That's the main thing now.

"If we win all nine matches, Zenit will be champion. My goal is to bring Zenit to the top. That's what I want to do."

Villas-Boas had a watching brief in Dortmund as the caretaker manager Sergei Semak oversaw Zenit's 2-1 victory on Wednesday night. Hulk – a star player under Villas-Boas during his successful Porto reign – and José Salomón Rondón scored for the visitors while Sebastian Kehl replied for last season's runners-up.

The result on the night was not good enough to guide the Russians through as Dortmund won 5-4 on aggregate.

Villas-Boas thanked Semak for restoring a winning spirit to the team, but expects to bring in his own backroom staff. "It was an excellent result for sure," he said. "The main thing is that Zenit played as a team: I saw the team's spirit.

"I would like to thank Sergei Semak for his work during these days in the interim period. Obviously I need assistants who suit my philosophy of the game, who can build team play from my point of view. I'm thankful to the people who worked during the interim period, but changes have to be made."

Villas-Boas, who had been out of work since leaving Spurs in December, did not hesitate to accept Zenit's offer.

He added: "To be honest, there was no difficulty in taking this decision for me, because Zenit is a well-known club in Europe. The ideas that led to this decision suit my own ideas about football. This is an important step for me, that suits my ideas, and my career."

Villas-Boas faces a more immediate problem after Zenit were charged with "setting off of fireworks and improper conduct of supporters" by Uefa.

Russian fans were pictured burning a Dortmund banner made from a black, red and gold Germany flag and Uefa's disciplinary panel will hear the case on 14 May


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Arsène Wenger's 1,000th Arsenal game: his best and worst buys | Amy Lawrence

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 05:25 AM PDT

The Arsenal manager is known for his prudent transfer business but in his 18 years at the club he has got it right and wrong

Wise buys – five ways Arsène Wenger mastered the transfer market

Patrick Vieira: A game changer. Brought an entirely new style and presence to the Arsenal midfield, and even had the stature to ably replace Tony Adams as captain. Vieira translated everything Wenger wanted – in terms of using your individual gifts within the team ethic – on to the pitch. He knew Vieira from watching him as a teenager with Cannes, and pounced when he noticed game time at a Milan team with Marcel Desailly in front of him was limited. Amazing to think Vieira was bought for just £4m.

Midfield partners for Vieira: Three times Wenger was inspired in hand-picking players to dovetail with Vieira in the midfield heartland. With this area of the team strong, Arsenal were incredibly difficult to beat. The rapport between Vieira and Emmanuel Petit was tremendous. Suddenly Arsenal had two giants who complemented each other superbly – one more right footed and the other left, one a skilled passer with accurate short exchanges and the other probing with longer passes. They were both competitive and comfortable handling defensive and offensive duties. When Petit left, Gilberto Silva came as a World Cup winner from Brazil. A more subtle player, whose reading and anticipation of the game was excellent, he was another fine partner for Vieira. Finally, the young Cesc Fàbregas came, before maturing into a replacement for the man himself.

French flyers: It was a huge advantage for Arsenal that Wenger, with his knowledge of French football, had that expertise at the time when his home nation was at the vanguard of developing talent. This was France's time, as it had been Holland's before, and would be Spain's after. Anelka and Henry had both come through the Clairfontaine production line as great friends, and it had once been Wenger's idea to have both of them. As it was he settled for one after the other. Anelka turned out to be incredible business. He came for a nominal fee from Paris Saint-Germain, helped Arsenal to the 1998 double as Premier League defenders were left bewildered by this blur of speed and technique. He left for £23.5m. That funded a new training facility, and there was enough change to buy Thierry Henry, whose talent changed the face of Arsenal again.

Injury risks: Wenger was on the lookout for outstanding talent who for one reason or another had an issue that made other clubs think twice. He didn't mind gambling. Marc Overmars and Kanu, players of high international repute who came with fitness question marks, arrived to find their shape and bring superb qualities. Overmars had suffered a serious knee injury at Ajax before Wenger decided any after-effects were a risk worth considering. Kanu had heart surgery at Inter after a defect had been spotted in a routine medical and came back to football after nearly a year out of the game. Both brought excellence to the party.

Cheap masterstrokes: Even a glance through Arsenal's Invincible team demonstrates how Wenger's eye for recruiting cheaply was such a strength. Sol Campbell was a free transfer, Kolo Touré cost a mere £150,000, Ashley Cole was home-grown. The main first XI was put together for a combined fee of around £40m, which included Jens Lehmann, Lauren, Patrick Vieira, Gilberto, Freddie Ljungberg, Robert Pirès and Thierry Henry. To put that sum into the perspective of the times, that season, Roman Abramovich spent a similar amount to bring Geremi, Damien Duff and Juan Sebastián Verón to Stamford Bridge. Later, Wenger's keenness to recruit great prospects while they were still affordable saw the likes of Cesc Fàbregas, Robin van Persie and Gaël Clichy arrive for minimal fees.

Bad gambles – and five ways he floundered

William Gallas: With the benefit of hindsight, it might have been better just to take more money from Chelsea over the controversial Ashley Cole transfer. Arsenal's manoeuvrings were understandable, loth as they were to do business with their loaded London rivals, but Gallas turned out to bring complications to Arsenal. An uncomfortable captain, the dressing room was not at its happiest in that time, and he was at one point publicly critical of his team-mates. On the pitch, his reaction to an emotional game at Birmingham in 2008 – after Eduardo suffered a horrific injury, Gallas walked away as the opposition had a last-minute penalty – set the tone for a title challenge to implode.

English prospects: Francis Jeffers is the name that springs readily to mind. Wenger was perceived as having a mistrust of English youngsters, and it certainly didn't work out with the cluster of prospects he signed early on. Jeffers, dubbed "the fox in the box" seldom got anywhere near the team let alone the box. Richard Wright struggled with the pressure. Matthew Upson had injuries and never quite established himself. Jermaine Pennant found it difficult to knuckle down to get the best from his youthful ability. It is only recently, with Jack Wilshere, Kieran Gibbs, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Theo Walcott, that English (or British as Wenger likes to include the Welshman Aaron Ramsey in this group) youngsters have begun to flourish.

Big, ponderous, French centre-backs: Pascal Cygan, Mikael Silvestre, Sébastien Squillaci. Together they form some sort of axis of defensive nightmares for Arsenal supporters. None of them were spring chickens – Cygan was 28 when he joined, Silvestre 31, Squillaci 30 – and none of them enhanced their reputations. The latter two were France internationals, and came from perfectly respectable careers with Manchester United and Sevilla respectively. Arsenal's number 18 shirt was like some kind of curse. First Cygan had it, then Silvestre, then Squillaci. Coincidentally, that number is currently unoccupied in the first team.

Luxury goods: Reyes/Arshavin. No wonder there was such considerable astonishment when Wenger spent £42m on Mesut Özil. He has tended to be reticent when it comes to breaking the club's transfer record, and perhaps that is not completely surprising considering how two major transfers never worked out. José Antonio Reyes arrived with great fanfare in 2004. A highly coveted attacking prospect from Spain, he struggled to settle down, and after a year and a half left the club on loan, never to return. Arshavin arrived for another record breaking fee in 2009, announcing: "I am Gooner." Having sparkled for Zenit St Petersburg and Russia, after a promising honeymoon period with Arsenal he flickered, faded, put on a few too many pounds, and returned home.

Asian experiments: Having worked in Japan with Grampus 8, Wenger was always keen to promote Asian football if he could. Wenger swatted aside questions from sceptics about whether Junichi Inamoto, a popular young midfielder from Gamba Osaka, had been bought to sell shirts in the Asian market. Two appearances in his only season at Highbury did not make a profound impression. The South Korean Park Chu-Young is altogether more mysterious. A full international who had been playing in France, he fled a hotel room in Lille (who were waiting for a medical to sign him) in order to join Arsenal in 2011. He barely figured subsequently, and the lesser-seen Park is currently on loan at Watford.

Amy Lawrence

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World Cup Fiver | An excuse for when England's midfield go missing against Italy

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 05:13 AM PDT

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TURF WAR

In news that will have Cheech and Chong muttering about heavy vibes, it has been revealed that the pitch at the Amazonia Arena in Manaus requires emergency repair due to seriously undernourished grass. The venue is, of course, where England will be beaten by Italy in their World Cup opener, but much of the surface is reportedly drier than the Atacama, with some patches as bare as Baloo. It will come as no surprise, then, that the man for whom Paul Konchesky was once the answer to the question "What's the fastest way to lose credibility on Merseyside," visited the pitch last month and declared: "I didn't expect to see the grass so green and so well-manicured." Oh Mr Roy!

To be fair, though, it seems the turf has gone into decline since contact with the England manager – a feat which mirrors the Reverse Midas Touch the Croydon Commandant has previously exercised on Liverpool, Wayne Rooney's England career and Joe Hart. The problem appears to stem from the stadium's Bermuda grass which may not be suited to Manaus's hot, humid climate, but does offer England's midfield an excuse for going missing when Italy play their trademark passing triangles around them.

It is the latest in a series of problems to plague the Amazonia Arena. When it opened last week, fans in the ground complained about the roof leaking on them, the fact that tickets had been sold for seats that did not exist, and that it took more than half an hour to get any food at the various concessions dotted around the ground – a wait that would, at least, mean missing the unedifying spectacle of Tom Cleverley v Andrea Pirlo.

To Cheech and Chong's probable dismay, the Manaus authorities have not gone down the Notts County route of cannabis-lamp turf-rectification, but have instead hoiked the São Paulo-based grass-dealers back to the Amazon and told them to apply "green crystal chemicals" [would that be dye? – O Fiverão Ed] to the suffering sward. It means that all the locals can look forward to now is the tedious and potentially disappointing spectacle of watching the grass grow – in other words, perfect preparation for watching Mr Roy's men in action later in the summer.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Thanks to God various generations have continued to follow me. Nobody is perfect, but I try my best to share positive messages!" – Pelé's "positive message" this week: The news that a luxury watch manufacturer has unveiled an £11,600 timepiece in his honour. Other Pelé "positive messages" come to you courtesy of Volkswagen, Procter & Gamble, Emirates, Subway and Coca-Cola. Pelé: "I am playing on a winning team!"

BITS AND BOBS

Belgium manager Marc Wilmots has warned Eden Hazard that he could be dropped from the national team if he doesn't start scoring more. "If one day, I feel it is not in this spirit, I will do without him," stormed Wilmots. "He needs to improve his stats with the national team. Five goals, including two penalty kicks, in almost 50 games? This is not enough. I scored 29 times for Belgium and was less talented. Eden, I love him, but I ask him to be more decisive."

Antonio Cassano has explained the novel routine that has enabled him to lose 10kg in his bid to make Italy's World Cup squad: eating less and, er, exercising less. "I'm trying the false nine position so that I run less," he chomped. "Thanks to the work of others, I can provide the icing on the cake …"

Being drawn against Argentina seems to have convinced Japan that they will need to resort to extreme measures to get out of their group. Which may be or may not be why the country's football federation has announced that its official team mascot in Brazil will be none other than Pikachu, a Pokemon character renowned for his ability to store electricity in his cheeks and release it as a lightning strike in times of war. You have been warned, Leo Messi …

Liverpool defender Sebastian Coates is making such good progress as he recuperates from knee-ouch back in Uruguay that he expects to be fit in time for the World Cup. In fact, Nacional, his old club, are even hoping that Liverpool will give the player permission to play for them in the Uruguayan clásico against Peñarol at the end of April, which seems like the perfect reintroduction to football after a long knack lay-off, what with the last meeting between the clubs resulting in a brawl featuring one mighty kick to the swingers, several meaty punches, three red cards and one sent-off player seemingly making a throat-slitting gesture to an opponent as he left the pitch. In a friendly.

Sunderland winger Adam Johnson has accused Mr Roy of ignoring players at clubs outside the top eight of the Premier League. "Some players, if they weren't playing for the big clubs, wouldn't be anywhere near [the squad]," he welped, guaranteeing himself a summer holiday.

Brazil sports minister Aldo Rebelo says he doesn't expect a repeat of the anti-government protests that marred the Confederations Cup. "Football has no responsibility for inequality in Brazil," he parped. Estimated cost of staging the World Cup = $14.5bn; percentage of population below poverty line = 21.4%.

And Romario has blamed Original Ronaldo for failing to come good on a Brazil Football Confederation promise of free World Cup tickets for disabled people. "Is it opportunism piggybacking on my image or ignorance?" responded Ronaldo, who might be wise not to use the words 'piggy' and 'my image' in the same sentence.

O FIVERÃO LETTERS

"Not content with the Fiver's approach of serving up the same ol' rubbish neatly disguised as new rubbish, Cousin O Fiverão has actually gone one step further and served up the same rubbish exactly, two weeks running (last week's wrong-emailed O Fiverão). Talk about the dumbing down of sports journalism. I could get better from the Metro/Star/Sun. Actually …" – James Underwood (and 1,056 others).

"Has O Fiverão actually managed to successfully point out to the naive folk who run Guardian Soulmates the utter futility of advertising an online dating service 'for interesting people' in it, thereby out-doing the Fiver?" – Bryan Paisley.

"After starting his career in Major League Soccerball with a brace for Toronto, is it possible that Jermain Defoe will be unwilling to take a step down in quality if he is selected for England's World Cup squad?" – Matt Byron.

"Re: Sepp Blatter's no speeches rule for the World Cup (O Fiverãos passim): is this the silence of bland?" – Sarah Davidson.

• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com, with 'O Fiverão' in the subject line. Or just 'World Cup Fiver' if that's easier. And if you've nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. The winner of our prizeless letter o' the week is: Bryan Paisley.

STILL WANT MORE?

In response to complaints that there were too few 4,000 word articles on Scotland's rollercoaster 1978 World Cup, Scott Murray was tasked by Big Website's reader-satisfaction department to make amends.

Marina Hyde wonders if even thermonuclear war would be enough to kibosh Qatar 2022.

Owen Gibson, meanwhile, pens a memo to Sepp Blatter: is there no end to this damaging paper trail of payments?

Does what it says on the tin dept: Jimmy Greaves on chasing a dog during 1962 World Cup quarter-final.

And get all the latest World Cup news on Big Website's dedicated site.

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HERE'S HOPING THE LINES WORKED

Tom Bryant

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Arsène Wenger at 1,000 games: Arsenal manager's epic, anachronistic run | Daniel Taylor

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 05:10 AM PDT

Wenger's Invincibles took the boring out of Arsenal, and though brilliance has made way for something more inglorious in recent years the game has been better off because of him

On the day it all began, with a game at Blackburn Rovers in October 1996, Arsène Wenger's first win ended with a mutiny among his own players. Wenger sat at the front of the coach, filled with satisfaction for the journey back to London. At the back, the players were taking in the news that life at Arsenal was never going to be the same again. Tony Adams, Ian Wright and a few others decided enough was enough. "We want our chocolate back," they started chanting.

Wenger never did let them have their Mars bars. The jars of jelly babies and cola bottles that used to be on a table in the dressing-room – "an orgy of sweets," Rémi Garde, Wenger's first signing, described it – went at the same time and it feels like a different world now since those days when the club's most prolific drinkers regularly used to knock back 30 pints every weekend.

But then, a lot has changed since "Arsène Who?" was emblazoned across the London Evening Standard's billboards (as well as an article in the newspaper on how to pronounce his name) and the Gooner fanzine carried a letter from one of its French subscribers, explaining to its readers what they should expect if they did not know much about the new man.

Gabriel Vistotsky's words, in the temporarily renamed Le Gooner, look strikingly prescient now. "Arsène Wenger is among the best coaches in the business, high above either George Graham or Bruce Rioch. It is a risky appointment but if he succeeds Arsenal (and English football in general) will be better off because of him." Even so, looking through that "Walking in a Wengerland" edition it is clear nobody is getting carried away. As the editorial states: "No matter how many videos he has watched, or telephone conversations he has had with Stewart Houston, will have prepared him for the combined talents of David Hillier, Eddie McGoldrick and Steve Morrow."

What has happened since then can be fitted into two parts. First, the glory years, as Wenger set about dismantling the image of boring, boring Arsenal, revolutionising the club with his sophisticated touch. "Lots of football managers have honeymoon periods," the writer, actor and Arsenal fan Tom Watt, says. "By the end of Wenger's, he had won the Double. His success was astonishing and instant." The Double was repeated in 2002. Two more FA Cups followed in the next three years. Plus, that historic season of the Invincibles in 2003-04, now recognised in a series of framed letters upstairs at Arsenal's training ground.

"WWWWDDWWWDWWWDDWDWWDWWWWWWWWWDWDWDDDWW". Not a single "L" in sight.

The second part comes in the period, post-2005, when the old magic has not quite been there, and Wenger's brilliance has made way for something more inglorious at times. They have been mixed, often difficult, times, resulting in José Mourinho's callous broadside about "a specialist of failure," and it has not been easy, in the worst moments, seeing Wenger under attack, as the crowd has turned and it has felt like the first T on the "In Arsène We Trust" banner might be removed.

But it has been an epic, anachronistic run. A manager can have periods of good and bad form, just like the players, but as a feat of longevity Wenger's 1,000th game as Arsenal's manager – to be clocked up, just like his 500th, at Chelsea on Saturday– can be added to the already thick portfolio of evidence that he is one of the greats of his business.

At one point after Sir Alex Ferguson's retirement last summer, Wenger had been in charge for longer than the other 19 Premier League managers put together. His team have qualified for the Champions League in each of the last 16 years, and made it out of the group stages on 14 successive occasions. Yes, it will probably be a permanent frustration they have never actually won the damn thing. Yet don't overlook the fact that, over the last 10 years, a Premier League table of transfer business would put Arsenal fourth from bottom, with an average net yearly spend of £1.6m. Only Newcastle, Crystal Palace and Everton have spent less. Chelsea's average is £52.5m, Manchester City's £46.1m and Manchester United's £18.6m.

More than anything, Wenger has always wanted to do things the right way. That might not always have been apparent when the red cards fluttered like confetti and his famously selective eyesight became one of the sport's running jokes, but Wenger's commitment has always been about playing with style and panache, wanting the ball, and knowing the right thing to do with it.

He was a trailblazer, too. "Back then, to see a foreign coach winning the Premiership was completely unheard of," he said of his first Double. "There was this prejudice against coaches from abroad. It was said that a foreigner couldn't possibly win the English championship."

John Hartson played in Wenger's first game. "First impressions? He looked more like a doctor than a football manager. But he was a real gentleman. You know something, I never heard him swear. Not once. He would lose his temper sometimes. He would get red in the face and throw his arms around, but I never heard him swear.

"He also completely changed the way we thought. The culture at Arsenal was always that we could not wait to get back in the dressing room, get stripped and down the pub. Under Arsène, you were more likely to find us in a circle, with the manager sitting in the middle, and all of us doing stretches around him. You ask Tony, Lee Dixon, Steve Bould and Ian Wright, and they will all say he put another two or three years on their careers."

Wenger had taken over a team famed for winning 1-0 and it might surprise a few people that he has won a greater percentage of games by that score (10.5%) than Graham (10.2%).

"People used to say: 'Oh, but Wenger inherited that famous defence,'" Watt says of the Dixon, Adams, Bould and Nigel Winterburn quartet. "People would try to pooh-pooh his achievements. But he completely built the Invincibles back four. A right-winger converted into a right-back, a lad from Africa nobody has ever heard of, Tottenham's captain and a boy from the youth system. Ashley Cole came through the ranks, Sol Campbell was a free transfer and Kolo Touré was only a small fee (£150,000). Lauren was the only one who really cost any money (£7.2m). And they were magnificent. That was classic Wenger."

There is a reason Ferguson took against his new rival, and it probably had nothing to do with the fact Wenger shunned all that clinking of post-match wine glasses. Ferguson, put bluntly, felt threatened.

"The game I really remember in Wenger's first full season was a 3-2 win over Manchester United. We were 2-0 up, then they came back to 2-2 and David Platt won it with a header," Watt recalls. "By then, we'd brought in Patrick Vieira and Nicolas Anelka and I was already thinking: 'Happy days.' We had an away game at Derby County on the final day of the previous season, the last game at the Baseball Ground, and Tony Adams was sent off early on. But Anelka absolutely ran riot. We won 3-1, and that summer I can't remember ever as much looking forward to the start of the new season."

The problem here, maybe, is that all these memories are from at least a decade ago. Wenger has certainly made plenty of mistakes since that last FA Cup in 2005. "A genius, albeit a flawed one," Adams describes him. He can be stubborn beyond belief, infuriatingly so, refusing to bend for anyone, and there will always be that sense he should have been bolder in the transfer market. But he will never budge. Not at 64. "We do not buy superstars," Wenger said. "We make them." Mesut Özil was the exception to the rule.

So what next? There is no hint of a manager winding down. One day, he will have to cut himself free and it will not be easy when football, plainly, is the thing that makes the most sense in his life. Life without football can be blank and scary for a 24-7 obsessive of the Wenger mould and it is not easy to imagine him making a clean break.

Only guesswork, though. The truth is few people know him beyond what we see in public. Only a small privileged circle knows what he gets up to, where he eats, what music he likes, how he votes, what he reads. Most of us could not even recall his wife's name. He makes sure it is that way. In 17 and a half years, he has rarely, if ever, name-checked any of the journalists who trawl around after him. On all those European trips, he has never appeared at the bar. He almost never does one-on-one interviews.

Even so, it is never dull following Wenger from this side of the fence. Wenger's general strength in life is that he respects everyone, even the guy asking the daft question. He can be incredibly sour after a defeat, almost never praising the opponent, and he is not immune to the occasional meltdown.

This is the man who apparently once stood, arms outstretched, in front of Ferguson, in the Old Trafford tunnel, and shouted: 'What do you want to do about it?' So it stands to reason that he will occasionally lose his temper in front of the press. The mind goes back to a game at Bolton Wanderers one year, at the height of his tensions with Ferguson. Arsenal had lost and Wenger had taken the defeat personally. He always did. Wenger was trembling with anger as he announced diplomatic relations with the Manchester United manager were finished, officially.

More recently, there was an afternoon at London Colney when something pricked his temper again and he went all Travis Bickle on one unsuspecting reporter. "Are you looking at me?" he asked. "Why do you look at me?" Well over six feet, Wenger can be surprisingly scary in those moments.

Mostly, however, he is a great ambassador for Arsenal and there is one thing that is always apparent: his fixation for football. He wants to talk about the sport, rather than all the fluff that goes around it, and that is when he is at his happiest. Some football people become tired and cynical, just as someone who works in a chocolate factory might eventually want something different to taste. Not Wenger. His face still lights up when he discusses an outstanding goal or moment of skill.

He also has an understated sense of humour, with an ability to laugh at himself. Adams tells one story about the manager joining in a five-a-side match. "He slipped, crashed to the ground and a ball, wellied by someone, ended up smacking him right on the nut. Slap bang on the side of the head! But he took it well."

Xavier Rivoire's biography of Wenger has another story about him serving himself some cake one day in the canteen, then turning round to talk to somebody, and not realising it had fallen off his plate. Wenger was so distracted he returned to his table, sat down and stabbed his fork into thin air. Again, he did not mind being the subject of everyone's laughter. "Terribly clumsy," is Adams' verdict.

The most important part is that Wenger turns out teams that play football as it is meant to be. A personal memory is of a game at Elland Road in November 2003, in the midst of that record 49-game unbeaten run. Leeds were blitzed with four goals inside the opening 50 minutes. Two from Thierry Henry, one each from Robert Pirès and Gilberto Silva. It was an attacking masterclass and their opponents were flattered, greatly, to get away with 4-1. "Football from another planet," David Dein, the man who brought Wenger to Arsenal, used to say.

At Blackburn, on that first afternoon, the newspapers did not seem entirely convinced. Wright scored the goals in a 2-0 win but the Observer's match report noted that Wenger "ought to be concerned with the regularity with which his new charges surrendered possession".

These days, if Arsenal are to fail, that is virtually never the problem. Kevin Whitcher, editor of the Gooner, sums it up well. "The manager's legacy is some wonderful football, numerous trophies, and the move to a stadium that has set the club up financially for the challenges of the future. Recent seasons have been less fruitful but there is no question – his contribution to Arsenal's history will be remembered fondly by all who witnessed his most successful sides."

Daniel Taylor

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Fernando Torres still hopes to fire his way into Spain's World Cup squad

Posted: 20 Mar 2014 05:01 AM PDT

• 'I will work, which is the only thing I know how to do'
• Torres has been in indifferent form for Chelsea this season

Fernando Torres has not given up on making Spain's World Cup squad and will work hard to convince coach Vicente del Bosque he deserves a place with the defending champions in Brazil.

Torres, who turns 30 on Thursday, faces stiff competition from Diego Costa, Alvaro Negredo, Fernando Llorente and David Villa, but believes if Chelsea have a successful end to the season and he plays an important role, he can secure a place in Del Bosque's final 23-man group.

"The World Cup is not just any tournament," Torres, who has scored 35 goals in 106 appearances for Spain, told As. "Those who go must be the best prepared and that's why you have a coach who picks the squad," added the former Atlético Madrid and Liverpool player.

"I will work, which is the only thing I know how to do, and the final part of the season is very important. We are up there in the league, through to the next round of the Champions League and it could be a great end to the season.

"The more important matches you play and the more things you are fighting for the greater the demands and that is when I have performed best. The World Cup is just around the corner and those who are in the best form will be the ones to go."

Torres has had an indifferent season with Chelsea, netting nine goals in 30 appearances, and coach José Mourinho has typically preferred Samuel Eto'o to the Spaniard. There was no place for Torres in Del Bosque's most recent squad, the last before he has to name a preliminary 30-man group for the finals, but if he has a run of good form in the next couple of months he could still be in with a chance of going to Brazil given his proven goal-scoring record with Spain.

"The national team is very special for me," Torres, who scored in the finals of Euro 2008 and Euro 2012, told As. "Getting called up has always been an emotional experience whether it's the first, the 100th or the 107th time."


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